Monday, February 06, 2006


Ever felt heavy on the inside and not known why? That is how I feel right now. I can't explain the feeling and it's driving me CrAzY!! I know that I am entitled to my feelings and that it's ok to feel the way that I feel...But....I don't know. I feel bad that I feel heavy, because there is really no reason for it. I feel like I need to cry, but I don't know why and the tears won't come.
I have spent the morning at AC Fitness for Women. I supposedly "won" something and it was really just a discount, but the fact that I am going to teach at the new gym made it pretty pointless for me and so I get three personal trainer appointments. I went with my friend Kim and then we took Caroline and Sarah Ann to piano and then I took Kim to the food court at the mall and she got some lunch and then I took her back to her car and I came home.
I don't really have a lot to do today. I do have to be at the gym at 7pm and I have college stuff that I have to work on, but other than that.....
Life is good. I have spent the past few weeks doing ROMEO AND JULIET and I feel very good about the job that I have done with that show. I am going to miss the people like crazy. They have become another family and it's always hard to leave that behind and to move on to the next show. But at the same time, another show helps to make the transition a bit easier.
The person that I have become the closest to, Jens, is going to be the most difficult to let go of. He heads back to NYC on Sunday and I am going to struggle with that transition. I am so used to having him around and to know that he is about to be thousands of miles away is not going to be easy. At the same time, he will still only be an email or a phone call away.
I don't know, this whole blog is somewhat pointless(kinda like my thing at the gym this morning), but it has made me feel better.


annabeck said...

awww. i am sorry you feel heavy on the inside. i feel like that sometimes. as for the ac fitness thing, i think it is a gimmick because rachel won it too. just say no. haha. i am so glad you came over today. i miss you all the time lately. i love you.

Re said...

I am so glad that I came over too. I love you and your family and your house...even if it does smell like farm animal feet and I come out smelling like that too.
I really should marry Ben. Then we could be sisters and I would be theresabeck. :-)