On running. And running. And running.

During small group last night, we talked about the ways in which we take time out to consider God and His awesome glory. Everyone had different answers. Nathan remarked that he saw God while he was overseas fight for our country, that while he was in these third world countries, there were moments in the dirt and grime that God revealed Himself and His beauty shone through. Kristin remarked that her grandfather once said that he knew for sure and certain that there was a God when he saw the Grand Canyon for the very first time. Chelsey said that she was in awe of God's detail in the process of pregnancy and birth (especially in light of all the pregnant women in our group.)

For me, it is when I run. Not that He doesn't reveal Himself in other ways and not that I only contemplate His glory when I run, but there is something about running that is so incredible. God designed my body to be able to persevere and push through 1, 2, 3, and 8 miles. He made my muscles strengthen and gave my lungs the capacity to fill and empty as I take each step. The fact that my body responds to the activity is amazing to me. Everything changes. Weight, muscle mass, the percentage of fat, etc.

I love that God is a God of detail. I love that He made my body to work the way that it does on purpose. He knew exactly what He was doing. I love that He created a beautiful world for me to observe while I am running (and an iPod to listen to courtesy of Anthony).

I want to be better about meditating on God's awesomeness. It is what we (I) are (am) called, as Christians, to do.

Psalm 143:5
I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.

On not being perfect.

I am not perfect. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I struggle with sin on a daily basis. I struggle with big sin. I struggle with discontentment, even though I have the world's coolest job, a fabulous school schedule, a family who is awesome, incredible friends, and all the other niceities. I struggle with lust, lack of temperance or moderation, doubt, and selfishness. I complain, whine, and speak without thinking. I struggle with consistency in the word and time in prayer.

So, again, I am not perfect. I find it hard to say which one I am struggling with the most right now, but the one I am feeling the most (which I am sure can be contributed to the lack of consistency in the word and in prayer) is discontentment. Not discontentment with being in Columbus or my job or my general situation. Mostly it is with my lack of a significant other. This might sound like the most ridiculous thing ever, but it is oh so very true. I find that it doesn't so much help when three of your friends get in engaged in the span of two weeks, all of your past serious relationships (with the exception of one) are all in committed relationships (if not already married), and seven couples in your small group are preggers. Not that I want a kid right now and not that I want to get married right now, but I want/desire someone to talk to and go to dinner with and be a couple with. It sounds so silly when I start writing it out. But, I know that God has placed these desires in me for a reason. They are good in moderation and in perspective of God's sovereignty, but out of context and dealt with the way that I have been dealing with it, it is not healthy and sinful.

After a minor meltdown and some tears this afternoon, my mom reminded me of one of my absolute favorite passages in the bible and I want to share them.

Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. -Psalm 37:3-5

I love every part of that passage, but my favorites are "dwelling in the land and cultivating faithfulness" AND "Trust also in Him and HE WILL DO IT." I l-o-v-e that! Trust in Him and He will do it. Do what? Make my righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of my cause like the noonday sun. He will use me to glorify Himself.

The next part of the passage says to "be still and wait patiently on Him" and to "not fret when men succeed in their ways." So difficult, but with His help, we (I) am able to succeed in both. He is so faithful!

I am all about short term goals, so this week I am committing all my to Him. I am committing this week to the idea of dwelling in the land and cultivating faithfulness. This week I will trust in Him, knowing that He will DO IT. I will find moments to be still and wait and know that He is God. I will commit this week to Him, knowing that His plan for me is great, that His love endures forever, and that He loves me beyond anything that I can begin to comprehend. I am His and He is mine. What joy belongs to me!

One of those days.

Today has been one of those days. You know the days. There are ups and downs and seems like there are more downs. It all seems to pile on at once. And then you find this:

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
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Philippians 4:6-8

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

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[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him – that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding [the wonders of His Person] more strongly and more clearly, and that I may in that same way come to know the power out- flowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers]; and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death.

Philippians 3:10 AMP

Happiness is...

I love being a mom. Oops...maybe I should rephrase that. I love playing a mom. My friends, Brooks and Jennifer are off at the Georgia Tech/Clemson game (Goooooo Jackets!!!!) and I am staying with their five little girls; Josie, Gigi, Emma, Stella, and Maggie.

Today consisted of a birthday party, soccer practice, bath time, story time, a song or two, bedtime, and tomorrow will consist of breakfast, speech practice, hair clothes, a spelling test review, and getting to school on time. I am so excited.

I love these girls so much and I love playing mom with them. Their sweet hugs and kisses fill me with a love that is overwhelming. "My cup is overflowing."

God Sightings/Moments

The past two days have not been the best. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have cried and cried and cried. I just feel blah and I feel that outside circumstances have just added to my feelings of blah-ness.

I have been repeating my comfort verses over and over to myself; "The King is enthralled with your beauty, Honor Him for He is your Lord." I still don't feel very pretty. My clothes don't fit, I hate what I have to wear everyday, boys do/say stupid things, people in general do/say stupid things, and my pride is at a ridiculous all time high. I am cranky and basically a Negative Nancy. I cannot agree with anything anyone says. None of this makes for a very happy camper. People are trying to help and I am turning them down. What is wrong with me?

I have had trouble finding joy, and so, I decided that this was the day to find joy. I decided this as I was driving to work at 5:30 AM, crying all the way. So, God and I had a little one on one. And He spoke His promises to me, sweetly and softly. And I cried some more. I am telling you, my hormones must be on fire. I haven't cried in awhile.

It all started when I was cleaning something or another and a fireman walked in and ordered his food. He was polite enough, nothing out of the ordinary. A few minutes later, he had his food and sat down to eat. I glanced over and he was praying. I immediately thanked God for allowing me to see that I am not alone. That I am a part of something bigger and that others share my search for the truest form of joy.

Then, a customer (a regular customer, at that) was a little more rude than usual. A friend of mine, Nick Cash, happened to be standing there and his face showed his feelings on the situation at hand. The lady walked away and Nick commented on her behavior. I told him it was par for the course with her and he still thought it was totally uncalled for-which, for the record, it was. After some time had passed, Nick came back up to the counter and said the following:

Theresa, you are doing a great job. No matter what anyone says or does, you are the apple of your Father's eye. Have a great day!

At this point, I am choking back more tears. I barely manage to get out "Thank you" before he is out the door and gone.

The rest of my day was filled with my sweet sister, a visit from my dad, Sarah Ann, and Mary Lou, sweet texts from friends, and finally being able to work on what my mom calls my "real work."

God is faithful in all things, at all times. His grace was evident today in all of the little moments He allowed me to experience.

What time I am afraid I will trust in Him.

When I was a little girl, the verse in the blog title was one that I learned in Cubbies, a club organized by AWANA, a church group. I have always repeated that verse to myself when ever I am scared, whether it be because of a storm, quiet houses, dark roads late at night, or arriving home to an empty apartment.

There are other verses that have become crucial to my feeble mind. "Be ye kind one to another. Tender-hearted, forgiving one another." Mom used to use that one when we were arguing or bickering about something. "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." A great life verse and one that I repeat to myself on a regular basis. "The King in enthralled with your beauty. Honor Him for He is your Lord." Whenever I start to feel gross and ugly, I say this one over and over again.

While we were at camp, Eve encouraged us to find our "life verse." She noted that it could change for each season in your life and was just whatever spoke to your heart at the time. As I began to think about it, the women in our group began to share theirs. "By His Grace, I am who I am." "I am the vine, and you are the fruit." "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper and not to destroy. Seek me and you will find me."

As God's word was spoken over me, I knew what my newest life verse was meant to be. Psalm 86:11 says "Lord, Give me an undivided heart." As I poured over the scriptures in a rather constant state for four weeks, I found that I kept coming back to this verse and my heart was consistently coming back to contemplate it's meaning.

I will be the first to admit that my heart is divided more often than not. My focus is not always where it needs to be and I fail to just live out the life that God has given me with intention. I fail to be content, joyful. and faithful and instead suffer from a ungrateful heart, a complaining spirit, and a general discontentment with my situation. I long for an undivided heart. One that is focused Jesus and His love for me.

Any thoughts? What is your life verse?

My Latest Love Affair.

I keep saying that the month was perfect and swooning over Windy Gap like a silly school girl. You are probably wondering what the big deal is. It was summer camp, you say. And yes, it was summer camp. And so much more.

But, what does that even mean? I mean, loooonnnnggg days with early mornings and late nights don't make for a month of rest and relaxation. Sure the food was pretty good and those mountains were gorgeous, but was it really that great? Was the hard work worth it? And kids who were sometimes rude and thoughtless, were they really worth it? And those hot days that turned into cold nights? How did that work out? What about all those times when there was work to do and everyone else was playing?

Every moment was savored. From sweet, corporate worship to conversations so deep and meaningful. Words of wisdom from Eve and Kent and going on long walk/runs with Rachel and Allie. Almost dying in the swing with Hampton and giving the weather report on Thursdays and Fridays. All of these moments were wonderful. All of them.

God showed His love to me in each one. He was extravagant and sweet. He was close to me in every moment and in ways that I never knew before. As our month began to come to an end, I kept saying that I was so excited about walking with Him in a sweet brokenness, rather than a painful one. I have walked with Jesus in a personal relationship for over two years now. But a lot of that time has been painful, filled with tears and anger and bitterness. However, so much healing has taken place in my heart and there is now a sense of sweet communion with Him that I have never felt before.

I believe that a lot of this has come from spending a month immersed completely in Him and His love. Everyday was focused on Jesus and it was hard to go long without Him on the brain. I learned so many lessons and am writing them out, slowly, but surely.

It's hard to explain exactly what it feels like to leave such a special place if you haven't experienced something similar, but hopefully I can capture some of it over the next few posts.

"Give me an undivided heart, Lord."

Sundays are pretty special here at Windy Gap. It's our sleep in day, our optional breakfast day, our new camper day, but most special to me is the fact that today is the day that as a whole camp of summer staffers, work crew, summer interns, assigned team and families, and staff, we worship the Lord together.

I really dig John Sharp's preaching/worship style and today was no different. He had all of us chose a verse that had been on our hearts and read it aloud to one another. Having God's word read and shared in that way was so sweet and powerful. John explained it as giving a gift to one another; that gift being the word of God. We talked about loving the Lord with all our hearts, souls, and mind, and our neighbor as ourselves. Learning to love one another extravagantly.

After the reading of the Word, John had us pray that God would take our thoughts captive. I was struck my one particular verse that was read today from Psalm 86, verse 11b. "Give me an undivided heart." It is so easy to be divided in your heart, even when you aren't in the real world. Distractions are less here, but exist all the same.

And so this becomes another part of my prayer this month. That God will give me an undivided heart. That I will focus on Him completely and be filled by His spirit. I want to be satisfied by Him alone, realizing that everything else is merely frosting, if you will.

More later. Much love and many thanks for reading and praying.

I know God is Good

Today I know that God is good because:

1. All things work out for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
2. I got a position at Windy Gap, my first choice for Young Life summer staff.
3. It rained today.
4. I had Chick-fil-A for lunch.
5. I spent time with good friends.
6. I have peace like a river.
7. I spent time at the river.
8. I have friends like Goose and Banks.
9. My sister loves me.
10. The West Wing came on at least once today.