I have been a horrible blogger lately. A lot has been going on and time to write is scarce.
Update:
I quite my job at the real estate office and had a week off before I started my two week job at the Springer as the Intern Captain. During that week, I said (note the word SAID) that I was going to clean my room, clean my car, go to the bank, go to the pool, read a lot, write a lot, sleep, visit with my mom, and about a gillion other things. However, I think that maybe three of those things were actually done.
Yesterday, I started my little gig at the Springer and it is going well so far. I am job-less in two weeks and to be honest, I am getting a little nervous. I interviewed last week for a permanent job at the Springer and found out this afternoon that I didn't get it because I don't have a degree yet. I understand completely. However, I have never not gotten a paycheck. My faith is so weak and I am acutely aware of this. Jeremiah 17:7-8 was the bible verse that came in my email today and it was the perfect verse for today. Let me share. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. Anxious in the year of drought. Hmmm. Sounds familiar.
I will fully admit that this afternoon I was angry and frustrated. It was hard for me to place my cares onto Jesus and let go of this situation and to be honest, I am still having a hard time. I know that letting it go will be freeing and I will have peace and yet, it is as if my heart knows to let go and my head says "No thank you." Argh.
I have been quoting scripture and the promises of the gospel to myself all afternoon. My mom used to sing a song to us that went like this; My God is so good, so strong and so mighty. There's nothing my God can not do. The mountains are his, the oceans are his, the sky is his handy work too. My God is so good, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do for you. It's songs like this and verses like the one above that remind me that God is in control of this life that I lead. I am His and He is mine. I am a daughter of the King. His love endures forever. His promises are new every morning. I will praise Him continually.
I fly to D.C. week after next for a weekend trip. I need to get out of Columbus and this is a nice way to do it. I have a wedding in Chattanooga the next weekend and in October I am flying to Texas to see my Grandma Jo. Travel and change will be good for me and it will be even better if I have a job.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Independence
No, this is not going to be political. Sorry, Jens. I know the title might be a bit misleading with the upcoming holiday and I apologize. The following is honest, open discussion.
Yesterday was my dad's birthday and I went out to my parents house to eat dinner and celebrate. Dinner in the Garcia house is pretty fun, as you can imagine. We all talk at the same time, we laugh at each other, we laugh with each other, and generally drive Mom and Dad crazy. It was a typical night and I was enjoying myself fully. Caroline showed me some hilarious youtube videos. Click here for an example. We watched NCSI as a family and then the Braves play Pittsburgh. Yes, a typical family night.
As the evening progressed, Mom and I moved to the kitchen and we talked about school. I was excited to share my news about registration, my major, and my classes. The conversation turned to clothes, food, and diets. I will admit that I am the stereo-typical girl and I do struggle with image and weight issues. The evening was on a slippery slope at this point. My laughter and excitement turned to tears and frustration. I admitted to my mother that I felt like there was a possibility that I was depressed. However, I knew from previous talks with my doctor that physical dysfunctions such as high thyroid levels could affect the hormones that cause depression. I told my mom that I wasn't happy and she told me that wasn't something that she didn't know. Thank you, Mother. Of course she knew.
As I continued to explain to her what I thought the problem was, she insisted on calling my dad over. Now, if you know me well or have read this blog in any detail, you know that I adore my father. Inasmuch as I adore him, it is often difficult for me to share things with him or for us to understand one another the way we mean to be understood. However, dad came over and I shared a great deal. I talked about my job, my past relationship, my faith, my weaknesses, my strengths, and much more. I laughed, I cried, but Cats was probably better. I'm not gonna lie.
The two most important thoughts that I shared were 1) my knowledge of the cross and 2) my Independence. By "knowledge of the cross", I mean that I understand and believe with every fiber in my being that Jesus died on the cross for me. His grace is sufficient. I know that I have been blessed beyond compare and that gives me every reason to be happy and joyful. I have all the head knowledge and scripture. Dad had to remind me that it was more than knowing in your head and almost more than knowing in your heart. You have to know in your heart, mind, and soul that Jesus provides your identity. It's more than reading your bible and praying if you are only going through the motions. You have to do it because it is personal to you. He reminded me that it is spiritual warfare and that you have to fight to resist discouragement and untruths. I am so blessed and grateful beyond what I can express with words for a dad who is willing to preach the gospel to me when I am discouraged.
The second thought that I shared was my Independence. As much as I fight being helped in any way, and I do mean any way, there are times when I need to know that someone, namely my dad, wants to take care of me. I need to know that he would drop whatever he is doing to jump to my rescue. I am not talking about silly things like I had a bad day and I need a hug. But I am talking about my car breaking down or my head being split open. I just need to know that someone wants to take care of me. My poor mother was crying at this point. Here I am crying and saying that there are times when I feel painfully alone and she is bawling her eyes out. I am sure I will one day know what it feels like to hear a child say that and I will cry too, but I felt sad that I had made her sad.
At any rate, once all the emotion was out, I felt better. Dad continued to tell me of God's love for me and offer me advice. His most consistent advice being discipline. If you know my dad, that should not be surprising at all.
After a bit, Sarah Ann (number three) came in and needed help with her English paper, at which point I offered, with hesitance, my assistance. Helping Sa Sa with school work is difficult for me to do as our personalities are vastly different. However, we got through it and I went on my thoughtful way home after a hug and a kiss from Mom.
I arrived home to find that I had a flat tire and then proceeded to lock my keys in my car. Brilliant, I know. I called my daddy, crying of course, and he promised to come first thing in the morning.
So, much for independence.
Yesterday was my dad's birthday and I went out to my parents house to eat dinner and celebrate. Dinner in the Garcia house is pretty fun, as you can imagine. We all talk at the same time, we laugh at each other, we laugh with each other, and generally drive Mom and Dad crazy. It was a typical night and I was enjoying myself fully. Caroline showed me some hilarious youtube videos. Click here for an example. We watched NCSI as a family and then the Braves play Pittsburgh. Yes, a typical family night.
As the evening progressed, Mom and I moved to the kitchen and we talked about school. I was excited to share my news about registration, my major, and my classes. The conversation turned to clothes, food, and diets. I will admit that I am the stereo-typical girl and I do struggle with image and weight issues. The evening was on a slippery slope at this point. My laughter and excitement turned to tears and frustration. I admitted to my mother that I felt like there was a possibility that I was depressed. However, I knew from previous talks with my doctor that physical dysfunctions such as high thyroid levels could affect the hormones that cause depression. I told my mom that I wasn't happy and she told me that wasn't something that she didn't know. Thank you, Mother. Of course she knew.
As I continued to explain to her what I thought the problem was, she insisted on calling my dad over. Now, if you know me well or have read this blog in any detail, you know that I adore my father. Inasmuch as I adore him, it is often difficult for me to share things with him or for us to understand one another the way we mean to be understood. However, dad came over and I shared a great deal. I talked about my job, my past relationship, my faith, my weaknesses, my strengths, and much more. I laughed, I cried, but Cats was probably better. I'm not gonna lie.
The two most important thoughts that I shared were 1) my knowledge of the cross and 2) my Independence. By "knowledge of the cross", I mean that I understand and believe with every fiber in my being that Jesus died on the cross for me. His grace is sufficient. I know that I have been blessed beyond compare and that gives me every reason to be happy and joyful. I have all the head knowledge and scripture. Dad had to remind me that it was more than knowing in your head and almost more than knowing in your heart. You have to know in your heart, mind, and soul that Jesus provides your identity. It's more than reading your bible and praying if you are only going through the motions. You have to do it because it is personal to you. He reminded me that it is spiritual warfare and that you have to fight to resist discouragement and untruths. I am so blessed and grateful beyond what I can express with words for a dad who is willing to preach the gospel to me when I am discouraged.
The second thought that I shared was my Independence. As much as I fight being helped in any way, and I do mean any way, there are times when I need to know that someone, namely my dad, wants to take care of me. I need to know that he would drop whatever he is doing to jump to my rescue. I am not talking about silly things like I had a bad day and I need a hug. But I am talking about my car breaking down or my head being split open. I just need to know that someone wants to take care of me. My poor mother was crying at this point. Here I am crying and saying that there are times when I feel painfully alone and she is bawling her eyes out. I am sure I will one day know what it feels like to hear a child say that and I will cry too, but I felt sad that I had made her sad.
At any rate, once all the emotion was out, I felt better. Dad continued to tell me of God's love for me and offer me advice. His most consistent advice being discipline. If you know my dad, that should not be surprising at all.
After a bit, Sarah Ann (number three) came in and needed help with her English paper, at which point I offered, with hesitance, my assistance. Helping Sa Sa with school work is difficult for me to do as our personalities are vastly different. However, we got through it and I went on my thoughtful way home after a hug and a kiss from Mom.
I arrived home to find that I had a flat tire and then proceeded to lock my keys in my car. Brilliant, I know. I called my daddy, crying of course, and he promised to come first thing in the morning.
So, much for independence.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Today
This is one of those update posts. I have so much going on and I feel like if I write it all out it will seem more organized. My darn google calendar won't open and it's making me crazy.
I have two more days here at KPDK and then I am finished. Mixed feelings on this, but I know it is for the best. I have an interview tomorrow for my dream job, with a follow up interview already set up for the following Wednesday.
No fourth of July plans at the moments, but I did overbook myself by accident for Thursday night. I have a wedding shower and a dance to go to. It wouldn't be a big deal, but I am supposed to sing at the dance. Oops.
I'll have a week of down time before I head to the Springer to be the Intern Captain for the last two weeks of Academy. So excited about this. Then there is another down week and I am planning a trip to Washington, DC for that weekend. Hopefully, work starts that following Monday.
After that, it's wedding central. Lots of parties and showers. It's all very busy and I am super excited. School starts in August and I already have Fall Break planned out.
Also, today is my sweet Dad's 62nd birthday! So, Happy Birthday, Dad!
Life is good.
I have two more days here at KPDK and then I am finished. Mixed feelings on this, but I know it is for the best. I have an interview tomorrow for my dream job, with a follow up interview already set up for the following Wednesday.
No fourth of July plans at the moments, but I did overbook myself by accident for Thursday night. I have a wedding shower and a dance to go to. It wouldn't be a big deal, but I am supposed to sing at the dance. Oops.
I'll have a week of down time before I head to the Springer to be the Intern Captain for the last two weeks of Academy. So excited about this. Then there is another down week and I am planning a trip to Washington, DC for that weekend. Hopefully, work starts that following Monday.
After that, it's wedding central. Lots of parties and showers. It's all very busy and I am super excited. School starts in August and I already have Fall Break planned out.
Also, today is my sweet Dad's 62nd birthday! So, Happy Birthday, Dad!
Life is good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)