Monday, April 27, 2009

Does C.J. ever get a boyfriend?

Seriously, Simon was shot and killed? What was the point of that? Does C.J. not get the bad end of the stick enough from the writers of The West Wing? She says it herself! She is the second most visible person in the administration next to the President. She handles all of his dirty laundry 24/7 and the writers kill off the guy that she just kissed and I am pretty sure just fell in love with?
It doesn't make sense. Just like Rearcous not being here doesn't make sense. Just like academy kids writing messages to Rea on paper in the green room doesn't make sense. And just like the fact that we are planning a memorial service for Rearcous Smith doesn't make sense, it makes zero sense to me why the writers of The West Wing can't let C.J. get the guy.
It's situations like these, real life and fictional, that make you realize that you never know when someone is going to leave you. Like the grief councilor said last Tuesday, it's when stuff like this happens that you need to look at the person next to you and tell them that you love them. Tell them that they're ok. They're good people. Or tell them that they stink, but you love them anyway. And I am hearing a lot of "I love you" around the Springer community right now. I like it. I say "I love you" a lot and I like hearing others say, to me and to those around me.
I was supposed to see Charm School last Friday night and I didn't because I had something else that I had to do. And I was supposed to call Sally after my other thing and meet up with her and if I had done that, I probably wouldn't be kicking myself right now. I probably would have seen Rearcous and would have heard "Hey, Baby" one more time and gotten one more kiss and I probably would gotten to hear that infectious laughter one more time. But I didn't. I am still not really sure why I didn't. I just didn't. And I have to be ok with that.
But I don't want to mess up like that again, even though I am almost positive that it will happen again at some point in my life. Somewhere down the line, I will not be where I should have been and I will miss out on that last chance to just be. And I have to accept that that is the way that life works.

This week will consist of a memorial service honoring the life of Rearcous Smith and a funeral service in Macon, Georgia on Wednesday. The week will consist of moments of intense tears and laughter, realizations of the reality of the situation, and a sense of unity amongst our community.

The past week has already paved the way for opportunities for people to to express love to one another, to set aside differences, and just "be" with one each other. How fitting. Rearcous was all about talking and resolving. It seems only right that his death would bring more of that about.

Today,
Will be a wonderful day
because I have made such a positive change in my life.
I'm gonna make the choice to be all I can
because I know things are gonna work out right
if I have faith.
I can do anything, if I try.
I know that I can, I know that I will,
Today.

Today,
Will be a wonderful day
because I have made such a positive change in my life.
I'm gonna make the choice to be all I can
because I know things are gonna work out right
if I have faith.
I can do anything, if I try.
I know that I can, I know that I will,
Today.

I can do anything
I can do it if I try
I can do anything
Anything
I can do it if I try
If I try
Just watch me and see
I got love
I'll use it to treat my neighbor right
I've got faith
I'll use it to come alive
TODAY!

1 comment:

Ninjz said...

Does anyone have a recording of Rearcous' song, the one that you posted the lyrics to?