Giving back.

I have been thinking the last few weeks about how to give back. By giving back, I mean finding something to do that fills others and me at the same time. Something that means something. I know it all sounds so vague. I think Ben is rubbing off on me. :-)

I thought about Teen Advisors, but I am convinced that those kids would need all of me, not some of me. When the school year start and I get crazy busy with all of my school work and work, I want them to still be able to have ll of me and I am afraid that wouldn't be possible. The same with Young Life. I am just afraid of not being able to give my all and make it the best that it could be.

As much as I love my job, there is just not that sense of satisfaction at the end of the day. At the end of the day, what have I truly accomplished? A soccer roster? I made a few phone calls. Played on Facebook. Wrote a new blog. Yeah. Not very filling. I am thinking about starting a bible study on Monday nights for girls and just having that time to get away. Mama Lou said that we could meet at her house. I would want it to be late enough that we still had our Monday night dinners together. That time is important to me. I think that once school starts back up, I will see how much time I have left over and will be better able to see how thin I can realistically stretch myself.

I also want to be free to spend time with Ben. I am scared to get too involved in anything for fear that it might cut into the little bit of time that we have together. Saying goodbye is getting harder and harder. I feel like such a wimp crying when he leaves, but it is just so hard. I guess, soon enough we won't have that problem. :-)